Monday, February 2, 2009

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag

As I am sure you have noticed, the marketplace is amazingly scarce of male oriented products when it comes to us guys handling any parenting. You most likely did not pick out the bedding pattern at Pottery Barn and as such are doomed to bear the evidence of similar calamities. Having to carry a totally feminine diaper bag that your ex lets you use for the weekend, for example. Most times these are built with women in mind, so they are smaller, sit higher up on your back and definitely do nothing to make you look more masculine.

Originally, I was going to give you the advice to get yourself a new backpack and make it your "Dad Diaper Bag." Thankfully, some smart fellow Dads did one better and started Dad Gear. You can now buy a "diaper/gear/anything your kids could possibly need bag" that not only looks and feels better when you wear/use it, they actually look very cool. The second reason you need to buy one: it is another victory for you. When you pick up your kids, you can say "no need for the bag, I have my own." You will keep it loaded and ready and get the respect you deserve because you will no longer need to rely on someone else to help you. I think it scares people. It shows them you are not helpless and have things under control and are prepared to handle anything that comes your way. So, Step 1 is:
1. Get to www.dadgear.com and pick out a cool new bag...see note below for a code to get 15% off.. (simple enough)
2. Depending on the age of your kids, you're going to build a list and buy the necessities that you really shouldn't leave the house without.
Shopping List:
1. Baby Wipes (or wet wipes). The most important item. Buy several packs of the travel ones. Keep one pack in the bag and one in your car. These will be a Godsend for the next few years. They clean up poop way better than any public bathroom toilet paper does--'nuff said? (by the way, they get stains out of almost everything, including silk ties and no, Armor-All wipes do not count.)
2. Changing Pad. If your bag did not come with one, a small towel will work too.
3. Disposable Diapers. Get the right size and put in as many as you think you will need depending on how long you will be out of the house...then add 2 more for emergencies. If you swim a lot, get some of those Swimmer ones and keep 1 or 2 in there as well.
4. If your kids are out of diapers; At least 3 extra pairs of underwear. For them, not you. One accident can lead to another.
5. Plastic Grocery bags. Stuff these in a small resealable container (like an empty snack size Pringles can)--Sweet! now you can buy Pringles too! You'll need these to wrap up and dispose of diapers or underwear and wet wipes should an accident occur. I think if your child has an accident outside of the home, the last thing you want to be dragging around is gross dirty underwear. Pitch it and start new.
6. Hand Sanitizer. Your kids will touch everything and then touch their mouths, eyes, etc. Make it a habit that before you get out of the car and after getting in the car, you sanitize the hands. Squirt a bit on the fast food table you're sitting and wipe it with a napkin. Listen for the screams of dying germs.
7. Snacks. First off, something your kids will not choke on. Fruit snacks rock here. Keep multiple packs in your car and in your bag. Kids love them and it takes kids a while to eat them. Usually, they are by the cereal in the grocery stores. Fresh fruit and vegetables can be risky, since we Dads will most likely plop the bag down when we're home and forget that there's a ziplock full of grapes in there until we need it next weekend. Not good unless you dig the Pruno wine.
8. Drinks. Put these in on an as need basis, juice boxes and Capri Sun will explode if accidently stepped on, etc. A water bottle with a sports squeeze top tucked in a side pocket works much better.
9. Sunscreen. If it's summertime, or you're traveling somewhere warm, get the kind that comes in a stick (like a big Chap-Stick). No leaks, easy to use.
10. A few small books that will fit, a few small toys/stuffed animals, (and nothing with a ton of pieces, maybe save the travel version of "Risk" for your next camping trip with your buddies.) There are a ton of "travel" toys like travel Magna-Doodle, etc. You need some that will be "Bag Only." If you take them out constantly, you're going to forget to put them back in constantly. Be careful, loading it to the gills with junk makes it way more difficult to run a successful changing exercise.
11. One change of clothes in case something bad happens. Check them once in a while to make sure they still fit.
12. 1 or 2 things that your kid gets to pick. Maybe a small pack of crayons and a coloring book or a sheet of stickers. That shows them that its their bag you're carrying. For now at least, until they can carry it themselves while pushing you around in your wheelchair.
Now step up and be a man! Get your kids and go somewhere and be not ashamed for the bag you carry. Never again shall you have to face ridicule and jeers for carrying something that says "Grandma's Little Pumpkin" on it. Get one with skulls...or flames...or "Motorhead" on it. Anything that makes you feel proud to be a Dad..and why not? You should be proud. You've got it together and you can handle this.

P.S. You can go to www.dadgear.com and enter the code "NSAlex" and get 15% off.

Later, North Side Alex

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